When She loves You, I Hate You.

       I couldn't help but wonder, What do you see? When you look in my eyes, Do you discover the real me? Do you forbid yourself, for the lust is strong? Can you possibly see, that you were dead wrong? I Love you far more than I ever believed. I love you still after it was me you deceived. I am hurting, when I lay all alone, and thinking of you when I look at my phone. Even though I have plenty to choose from now. There are plenty that just want to make kitty meow. Only you are the one that breed and pampered her. You were the one that stuck by me, that’s rare. I can only wish for better days to come, but without you my world has been undone. I live for the joy that karma brings, only I’m having a problem believing in things.

I Loved you once, but you hurt me so deeply. You took from me and the price was made cheaply. You once said that you would never hurt me, then you must be blind, and unable to see. What you have done, has made my decision. I could never turn back without any permission. The happy home that we once hoped for. The loving family we we’re growing toward. I have walked on, and find myself free. You look back and smile with glee. Whether its real or a smile that’s fake. I can’t look past this and forgive your mistake. It never had to be this way, you could have stayed. You dug this grave when you left me betrayed.

I'm sorry for all the pain I cause, and for the premeditated applause. Although you did try to make it work. I wasn’t willing to, and left with a smirk. I told you I lost feelings, and the connection. I didn’t lie then and I wanted attention. I miss what I had, and feel like you do as well. But I’m probably wrong because I can not tell. We haven’t spoken in some time. I just remember when you were mine.

You just need to continue to stay away. You need to use what you got, what else can I say. You made this bed, and now you can rest in it. How can you expect me to not throw a fit . What we had was great while it lasted.  I was in range when that gun blasted. Took the life of the one you claim you loved. You set me out in the cold, harshly you shoved. I couldn’t take back what I’ve said, and how I feel. I can’t be a hypocrite, just because you squeal. I can’t give into loneliness and be sorry for this. If you never went this far maybe we’d exist.

We speak to you together as one now, for we know right and wrong somehow. We want to have you like we once did, but then again we hate you for when you flipped your lid. Why do you have to say things when we speak. You make us realize why we left, and then we tweak. We hate that it hurts when we think of you. It even gets to us when people have ask too. We hold on to what memories the three of us created. We sit back daily and go through the ones that faded. Maybe it will get easier with a little more time. But we’re beginning to realize loving you isn’t a crime. We have to hide the reality of our being. You were the closest one who understood the meaning.The biggest fight that we can tell you about, is the fight between us, right and wrong, no doubt. We know what we did in comparison to how you followed. No matter how you want to look at it, our heart is hollowed. We both still love you just the same, but a split personality is nothing to blame.